Who would you be and where would you stand if you started to recognize and break patterns?
Patterns that you no longer want, I think everyone recognizes them in his or her life. It is precisely when you want to change them that you notice how automatically such a pattern works. The longer you do something, the more it becomes woven into your entire system. This ensures that you can do more and more automatically. If this didn't work that way, you would have to think about everything you do. Patterns wear out and also leave marks.
The patterns you have form a circle, cutting across many areas of your life. Invisible, sometimes not even consciously chosen, but still present.
How do you recognize your own patterns?
In order to break your patterns, you need to gain insights about your pattern.
1) Why did you start this pattern?
2) When did you start using this pattern?
3) What is the challenge you keep encountering?
4) Can you discover which reward, conscious or unconscious, maintains this pattern?
Investigate this for yourself, ask people who know you well. Take up this challenge of gathering information.
Create a pattern that is uncomfortable but will ultimately be profitable.
You may recognize several patterns in your life. That you want to change things in different areas. It is important not to do everything at once, make a choice. You can think of, for example:
The pattern you most want to finish? Or the pattern that bothers you the most.
I will share with you why one choice is so important. You may want to change your life, but the area that creates behavior and patterns wants to keep it as it is. Your brain knows this and your brain already knows what is happening and what to do. Learning new things takes time and energy. Also give yourself the experience that it will work. You increase the chance of success if you focus on one pattern. This will make it easier to break the next pattern. So make your choice! And give yourself the time and space you need for this.
Upon insight, I asked you to consider what reward you receive from your pattern. Because very unconsciously you started this pattern for a reason.
When you are in a negative pattern you may not be able to imagine this. But your brain is very creative and wants you to be safe most of all. As a result, you may receive a form of safety, as a reward, from the pattern that also causes damage.
When you know what you get out of this negative pattern, you may be able to create that reward without remaining in this negative pattern.
Richard Dekker
Enforce Master Trainer
richarddekker@enforce.nl
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