Are you someone who takes on too much? Is that perhaps because you feel too responsible? An excessive sense of responsibility acts like a magnet... before you know it you are attracting all kinds of tasks and other people's bullshit. That will only cause you more work and stress.
Do you have…?
You respond to every call or text, check your phone every moment of the day, think that your phone is vibrating in your pocket or jacket when it is not, attend many meetings and always want to stay informed. You are a great boss, colleague or partner because you are always reachable, available and you solve problems. However, there is one disadvantage: the amount of work and stress for yourself only increases. Recognizable?
It is part of your job to answer questions. However? However, it becomes a problem when this happens constantly, at times when it is actually inconvenient for you and ultimately to your own detriment. Others keep bothering you with small questions or requests. It's strange... even if it's not convenient for you, you still speak to the person.
You yourself have rewarded this behavior. I mean the following. If someone puts something down on you and you pick it up, the other person thinks: 'Well… that's solved too'. So when the next challenge or problem arises, they will come to you again. And so you create an unworkable pattern yourself. By always being there for someone else, you reward that other person's behavior (namely: laying bullshit on you). If that behavior works, they will continue to do it. Why think and solve it yourself when it can be done easily if you solve it anyway? Why do you give in?
Possible causes:
1. Are you a pleaser and do you find it difficult to say no?
Becoming more assertive by saying no sounds easier said than done. But it is necessary. Otherwise your to-do list will only get longer.
2. Are you a micro manager?
Do you know the saying: trust is good, control is better? The annoying thing is that you saddle yourself with a mountain of work and the question is whether this is also good for your (working) relationship between yourself and others.
3. FOMO (fear of missing out)?
Always wanted to be informed? Constantly checking your phone and email? Imagine if there was something 'important' going on that you missed. Love all those notifications on your smartphone...another shot of dopamine...delicious and quite addictive.
4. Are you a perfectionist?
“I better do it myself, because then at least I know it's done (properly).” Recognizable? Difficult for your partner, colleagues or employees. What they do is often not good enough. Doesn't give them self-confidence and isn't motivating. Ultimately, they do half the job, they know that you will dot the i's and cross the i's...nice and easy. And you just toil.
5. Are you a lifesaver?
“If I don't do it, who will?” Rescuers take on work, they are open to others and do not mind taking on extra work (pressure).
Taking responsibility is important, but too much responsibility is tiring and ultimately drains you. When you take work off the hands of others, that person cannot develop further. Instead, encourage ownership. Everyone is and remains responsible for their own work/health, etc. This creates a win-win situation. You are no longer cleaning up other people's bullshit and others develop themselves through trial and error.
In short: think before you take on too much! Dare to delegate, say no more often and...mind your own business! Leave the bullshit where it belongs!
You are largely responsible for your own bullshit, including your health! Would you like to talk to one of Enforce's master trainers about how you can organize this in your own life? How we use physical training, smart use of nutrition and coaching to help you see and live your full potential? Then contact us today!
Richard Suijkerbuijk
Enforce Franchisee & Master Trainer
richard@enforce.nl
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