As a little girl, if I didn't feel like doing something or if I found something too exciting, or if I had already tried it several times, I simply said that I couldn't do it. To get rid of it. But of course I couldn't get away with it that easily. “Nonsense,” said my grandfather, “can't is in the cemetery, don't want is next to it”. And then I had to do the job, no matter how much resistance I had. “Just do what you have to do” I couldn't stand it when my grandfather used this expression every time I objected. Terrible, that killer. But now, funnily enough, I see it differently.
I now also think that a successful campaign starts with having the right attitude. If you are convinced that you cannot do something, then the chance of success is a lot smaller than if you assume that you can. Or maybe you can't do it yet, but you can at least learn how to do it.
But now suppose you are convinced that you cannot do something, do not have it in you or are not. While you would actually want that? How can you convince yourself to take up the challenge?
'What has now been proven was once impossible!'
After all, such a belief is just something you imprinted on yourself at some point in your life. Circumstances, events, the way you were raised, what you have experienced, what has been imprinted on you, what you have imprinted on yourself form your truths. How you experience it and accept it as true.
But it doesn't have to be true (and it probably isn't!). The inner world that you have created all these years by telling yourself that you cannot do it does not necessarily have to be the truth.
Maybe you never think about this. Because it can be quite confronting when you discover that your life would have been different, perhaps if you had dealt with your beliefs in a different way. And you had previously challenged your inner world.
Dare to take a brutally honest look at yourself and then answer the following questions:
What does your life look like now? And are you satisfied with this?
What would you like to see changed?
And now ask yourself:
What would my future look like if, starting today, I would no longer be guided by everything I have come to believe?
What will my future look like if I start making the right choices and thinking about myself now?
Confrontational, right?
We often dream, want and wish for a different future. But you've convinced yourself that you can't do it.
The biggest problem isn't that you can't do it. The biggest problem is that we just don't do the work it takes. We don't feel like it. Just like that little girl from before. We can come up with 1001 excuses and reasons why we don't do something. No time for it, no sense in it, ah, it will happen tomorrow, I can't do it anyway.
If you read the intro again, I actually always used "I can't do it" when I didn't feel like doing something. Because it was exciting or stupid or I had tried it several times and found it easier when grandpa did it.
But what now? I now know what my future should look like, but how am I going to do that?
Be honest with yourself. Who are you really?
Who do you have to be to change your life and therefore your future?
Which beliefs are associated with this?
Stop quitting and the instilled beliefs.
Make the right choices in your life.
Make a list of the necessary actions and start doing them. Cross off 1 by 1. You will see that if you do what you have to do, you will become convinced that you can do it and that it will happen.
Only then will you arrive at your new future. And you can look back afterwards and say, well, my life would have turned out very differently if I had imagined that at the time.
I don't know if this is what my grandfather meant when he said CAN'T IS IN THE GRAVEYARD AND WON'T IS NEXT TO IT. But he always took the necessary actions to get what he wanted done. So I don't think I'm much wrong.
Daniëlle de Jong-Roet
Enforce Franchisee & Master Trainer
danielle@enforce.nl
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