Monday Master Blog: Are you being conformed or addressed?

Your closest group of friends and family, the people you see most often, are the people who influence your behavior. Have you ever taken a good look at the 5 people closest to you? Have you ever noticed that if, for example, you want to stop drinking for a while and you are with these people, they still insist on having a drink with you, but this one time it doesn't matter? You would like to break your patterns, but your closest friends actually want you to go along with them.

Or perhaps the following sounds familiar to you. You would like to lose weight, but you find this difficult. You say to your friends, I won't start until after the summer, because there are so many fun parties and terraces now that I won't be able to do it. Your friends know that losing weight is very important to you, but they completely agree with your unworkable behavior. That's right! Not possible in the summer, it is better to start in September.

The people you hang out with largely determine your success in life. They determine with you which behavior is most nourished. You often see confirmations arise, yes it is also difficult, perhaps another day is better, you are good the way you are, why would you change. All these comments from yourself and which are then confirmed/confirmed from those around you ensure that you do not grow. And perhaps it is exactly the same the other way around.

Wouldn't you rather if you say 'I don't want to drink alcohol this month' your friends would help you with this? That they are proud that you want to do this, because they know how important this is to you. That they do not ask you if you want something to drink, but whether you would like soft drinks or something else. That just like you, they have your back when it comes to growth. That they dare to address you when you wander off and still want to order a glass of wine. Wouldn't you rather feel that sincere love than confirmation of your unworkable pattern?

It is said that you have the power of change within you. You have that too. However, it is very nice that your environment supports your change and does not oppose it. Especially when you want to work against yourself. This period, take a good look at your top 5 people closest to you. Do they ensure that you grow or do they keep you small and talk you down, preventing you from breaking out of your unworkable pattern? PLEASE NOTE, this is confrontational for yourself, be honest when you do this.

Finally, keep the following in mind.

What you pay attention to grows!

If you, like your top 5 friends, pay attention to your negative patterns, you will never get the results you dream of. If you and your top 5 friends pay attention to your change and are committed to the process, you have the greatest chance of success! Choose your friends wisely and don't be afraid to address yourself too.

Raoul van Ooij
Enforce Franchisee & Master Trainer
raoul@enforce.nl
 

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