How often does it happen that we are 'out of touch' in our contacts with others. This means that you lose your attention or notice that you are distracted or that your conversation partner is distracted. Whether it concerns our partner, a friend or a business associate, we are often busy with completely different things than the conversation itself.
How often does it happen to you that you are talking to someone and someone looks away or pays more attention to their mobile phone? That you feel that someone is not there in your mind and is only listening with half an ear? You probably and unfortunately experience this regularly and the question is, what does this do to you?
For example, I personally find it very annoying if my conversation partner does not look at me when we are talking. And actually looks at everything except the person he/she is having a conversation with. This gives me the feeling that the person is not listening or does not find it interesting at all. That we are not on the same level and don't really have a connection.
You probably have plenty of examples yourself, but the sad thing is, we are all guilty of it. I also sometimes discover during a conversation that I have not fully connected because my mind was elsewhere.
Take a look at yourself. How do you show up in a conversation?
How often do you let yourself be distracted by other things when you are talking to someone? For example, how often do you look around you and not look at the person? How often do you notice that your mind is somewhere else? I still have to do this and that. Or that you notice that you are not really interested in the other person?
Give it a try in the coming days. Try to be extra alert during the conversations you have. Can be with anyone. Then pay attention to how you show up in a conversation in relation to your conversation partner, as well as to the feeling that your conversation partner evokes in you during the conversation. What is that experience like for you? Do you notice if there is a genuine connection? Or is it just superficial. Do you notice that it gives you energy and that it can help you further? Or does it just frustrate you? Constantly think about how you want others to approach you? Reverse that. You will notice that this will greatly improve your conversations with clients, both privately and professionally. And you get a lot more done. That you will make a difference in contacts that are important to you and give you energy. Contacts who genuinely listen to you and can help you further. And contacts who, above all, cost you a lot of energy. And get you nowhere. Who are busy with everything, except with you and the conversation.
You may come to the conclusion that you need to make different choices in your relationships (work or private). And you have to say goodbye to the contacts because there is no real connection and this is not enough for you. This mainly causes a lot of frustration and costs energy.
Don't be afraid of that. It may require you to let go of the old and that will not be easy. If this structurally improves your relationships, it's worth it! If you have a genuine connection, they can help you grow, and you can help the other person. If you have a sincere relationship, they can make you happier and you can make them happier. If you have a sincere connection, you can make an impact.
We help you make an impact on yourself and others.
We are truly and sincerely present in a conversation and listen like no one has ever listened before.
Daniëlle de Jong-Roet
Enforce Franchisee & Master Trainer
danielle@enforce.nl
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